Hospital Adventure Continues - Day 9 and home!

Just had to share this image!

I find people watching a interesting past time in hospital. One of my favorite encounters was when Faith and I were heading to the lift and as we went in 6 or so older looking ladies followed. They seemed to come from no where, at first as usual, my mind is elsewhere, but something drew me in. I gazed up and I didn't just see some older ladies seasoned with salt but angelic looking ladies and while they fussed over Faith and in the moment or so that followed I realised they were nuns, heading to the convent. They looked so peaceful, kind and genuinely content. Just as fast as it began it was over and the nuns left, sayings God bless the little one. I will never forget the peace and calm I experienced when I was around them. Something I longed for in my ever changing situation.

Highlights of our day was a visit from the pastoral care worker and last week he had invited us to a Lent service and  we said that we would go not realising today's was to be held in the adults hospital and tomorrow was the children's. We got confused with the days (as time floats away in hospital) but decided to attend none the less. So off the 3 of us went, yearning for some peace. Today Faith, hubby and I attended a Lent service, never have we before but felt spiritually low so decided to go. As we sat in this small chapel nestled among the chaotic hospital we listened quietly and for those minutes that past, peace filled our hearts and I had peace even if fleeting.

Somethings are meant to be and we are meant to be in a specific place at a appointed time (serendipity if you will) and today was one of those moments. The lady sitting behind us was an old colleague of hubby's. The lady's  tears flowed like a waterfall and I wanted to do was give her a big hug, I could see the hurt and weight of her burdens as I looked into her eyes. She said she had a 11 week old daughter who was suspected to have meningitis but didn't know whether it was viral or bacterial yet. For a brief moment I remembered the pain of having a relatively new born in hospital and the fear that took over all logic and reasoning. We parted ways but as we knew her pain we thought of how in some small way we could help as others have done for us. So we left a small gift for her and her little baby. The next day as we returned to our room after one of our many outings to escape the ward we found a note and gift. It said your prayers were answered as the little one is improving and it wasn't what they feared and they were heading home. And a few days later we were home too.

Day 7 - In Hospital - Anywhere but here

You know one of the things I find really hard when we are away, life goes on at home, I may not be there but when I do come home, time has passed. My friends keep having play dates, kids go to school, bills still arrive, time passes and I know life has to go on but it is still hard not to be present. For a period of time my life is confined to hospital grounds where there is no real night and day, it is defined into shifts, hoping for a nurse with understanding and compassion, these are the things that dictate the mood for the day, making it easier to cope or crash. It is people like the lady at the hospital cafe who provides polite conversation bringing familiarity to the day (particularly when she has know me since I was pregnant), the cleaner who is thoughtful when your daughter is sleeping and she is vacuuming the room. It is the social worker who comforts the ever falling tears and the pastoral care worker who offers a pray of comfort and strength. The moment I find comforting in a strange way,  is visiting the cafe in the maternity hospital, watching the babies and their families leave. They look so joyful and happy and I cannot lie in that I imagine myself and wonder what it is like to hold your baby moments after he/she is born or to have family visit but I see their joy and I escape for a while and Faith loves watching the babies and people too. It helps both of us.

Beside me a mother has a heart felt conversation with her daughter, I can't see them but I hear the tears trickle  down their faces, my heart hurts for their pain whatever it may be. In a week we have seen above 8 families come and go in our room and being in such quarters you hear things, things you sometimes don't want to hear and there is pain that is far deeper than physical pain and may not be able to be healed here. Sadness lingers in people's hearts here, we are all here for a reason whether we want to be or not. There are kids who come here regularly and know the routine,  their are newbies who will come and go and forget those they met and maybe should have learnt something from and lives traveled. Then there is us, who come from a regional area and are sometimes lost in this big place and are trodden on, hurt and feel lost ourselves, we feel we are failing and falling and there is no one to catch us but somehow someway, we keep pushing on through this real life night mare and come out the other side hoping that we find our normality again.