UTI Free & Growing!

It is has taken a while but we came to the realization that our high set house is no longer practical, hubby has said that for a while but I haven't been ready. This is our first home and we renovated a bit and made it own. We decorated Faith's room and now it is all girly so to realize that it is time to move, is rather hard. We have a lovely backyard but since Faith is on oxygen and I am home by myself a lot it is too hard for Faith and I to go downstairs. We have a lovely deck but it is not the same as touching the grass and sitting outside for moment, smelling the flowers and feeling the warm sun on our backs. We want to be able to take Faith outside and when the time comes for Faith to go outside with her walking frame or whatever way she needs. To carry her and the oxygen tank up and down the stairs is quite heavy, though I am getting a lot of muscles in my arms we realize we need to move on. There are other valid reasons too, so we have put our house on the market. It isn't a good time to sell but it probably won't pick up for a long time so we just have to do it. Now starts the roller coaster ride of selling a house and keeping it neat and tidy all the time. It will be really good for Faith to go outside and smell the herbs and touch the grass and even have a slide to go up and down on.

A very exciting development is Faith has been clear of a UTI for about 3 weeks and it has to be due to us stopping catheterizing. We can see Faith changing, growing, talking more and getting stronger. She is even putting on weight! She has less vomiting but still has the other vomiting but is it better. We are heading to Brisbane for Faith to have a DMSA scan at last, the urologist said to just go ahead and get it done. Due to a nasty accident on the freeway we were stuck in traffic and we were late for our appointment but they did fit us in, it just meant we had to be there a lot longer. The radioactive ingredient that was injected into Faith before the scan had to be in her system for a few hours before they could do the scan so we just wandered around the hospital waiting. The scan was completed and the report said that Faith's kidney's looked normal so there was no scarring even with all the infections. Yay! Great news.

Faith's new AFO's

We had to head back to Brisbane the following week as due to the scan running late we missed Faith's other appointment. We were quite excited as we are picking up Faith's first AFO's. We have been waiting for these for ages, we had to wait for Faith's feet to be big enough. But here we are and Faith now has little AFO's with purple butterflies on them. Very cute. So with the AFO's and leg wraps we can stand Faith up and in a few weeks or so get her fitted for a standing frame. Faith is moving forward so much more quickly than before and it is very exciting.

Since Faith has been so well and progressing now, we thought it was now time to take her to an early intervention program. We tried once before but she was so sick that it wasn't benefiting her so we left. Our first week there were only two other babies so it was a nice small group. The week after that was the last week of the term and it was only us so we got the benefit of having a early intervention teacher and physiotherapist so that was great. We are trying to put Faith on her tummy more so she can learn to move around a bit more. We are looking forward to getting the pram soon so she has somewhere to sit and play. Having the one on one advice was helpful. The early intervention program is really good as Faith can play with other little people and we get to see a speech pathologist and physiotherapist every week. They also know about different toys that could help Faith and can help with applications for funding for equipment. It is nice to have some relatively peaceful times.

Spina Bifida Clinic

Time passes as a blur sometimes and I find it hard to define time and stages as I just keep going and going. My brain is consumed by helping Faith move forward, to gain weight, to have feeds on time, to exercise muscles, practice speech and time passes. But, I must remember my husband too and make time for him as he is my best friend and without him I couldn't do this. It is so exciting Faith hasn't been in hospital since November (3months) and that is a big achieve for us. I hope it continues. It is so nice to just have a routine. To plan and follow through. Faith is sleeping pretty well at the moment but we are still having the challenge of UTI's. Will it not end? I only know two other families whose children have spina bifida and they live a great distance away. It would be so good to communicate with others who have been through similar experiences and know the day to day struggles and be able to share life with ideas on coping and moving forward more.

We made a phone call to the urology nurse and she spoke to the urologist and he said we should catheterize more frequently. I can't see the reason in that considering when we do catheterize there is barely 10mls of wee, in my opinion I think we should be stopping catheterizing as Faith's nappies are always heavy now. We have a spina bifida clinic in a week, so we can talk to him about it then.

I am not looking forward to going to Brisbane as not only do we have spina bifida clinic, Faith is having a sleep study, neurosurgery appointments and other ones too. So it will be 3 days of appointments. And we have just discovered another UTI so we have put her on antibiotics but the vomiting has increased and when we usually go to Brisbane and have such big days Faith's vomiting increases due to stress and lack of sleep. I think sometimes the doctors and nurses forget the stress it causes on the patient and then on the families. This is an ongoing concern we struggle to communicate across to the Brisbane hospital. It is wonderful they want to keep such a close eye on her but she is well now and since we don't live locally that needs to be considered. Since Faith is still on oxygen we have to take 5 bottles of oxygen with us so we are prepared. I am finding all the extra planning stressful. I am so grateful my husband is taking time off work to come with us.

We have booked hospital accommodation and we arrive after lunch, as Faith's first appointment is the sleep study that night so we don't have to be there until 5pm. Last time Faith spent the first hours there screaming from all the cords, wires and prodding so I am feeling quite apprehensive about this one. Faith might be 19th months now but since she has a UTI she is more clingy and wanting to be left alone. She has a temperature and increased vomiting too. We had a very helpful nurse who let us give Faith a bath first but then came the preparation of all the cords and wires. She cried and cried, there was nothing that could calm her. It took quite a while for her to settle, hours actually. Around 1am an alarm went and woke her up and that was it, we spent the next two hours with Faith happily chatting, it was beautiful to hear but it is a sleep study not a talking study. Around 3-4am Faith went back to sleep until 5:30am at which point they decided to finish the study and send us back to our accommodation; hopefully to get a few hours sleep before the days appointments started. Sadly Faith still needs the oxygen and will be reviewed again in 6 months. I knew it was a possibility as Faith hadn't gained much weight but I had hoped and I will continue to hope.

When we were just about to leave to start the days appointments Faith pulled out her NG tube which of course meant we had to put it back down and run late for all our appointments. The exciting news is that the spina bifida clinic went really well and all the doctors were happy that she was starting to progress now. She did spend the entire 3 days vomiting off and on.  A couple of the highlights were no more catheterizing. We were to catheterize 1 a day for a week and if the wee continues to be in small volumes then, ready for it, no more catheterizing. Yay!!! The neurologist said that we can start really slowly weaning Faith off some more medication. She has been on so much so we are very pleased. The other exciting news was that Faith is to get AFO's, at last her feet are bigger enough. And when that all goes well we can look at a standing frame. Love the positiveness! Usually spina bifida clinic doesn't give us good news, so this is wonderful! What exciting days to come!

Finding Normality....Again!

Well, here we are, Christmas 2011, we had a well Faith and more good days. I am feeling better about life and seeing Faith progress now is very exciting. We are still struggling with Faith's weight sometimes it might increase slightly then go down, so it is sort of stagnating. It is so frustrating we are trying so hard but with all the UTI's and Faith's normal vomiting it is very difficult. I talk to the Brisbane dietitian once a week and she offers advice. We met some family at a park the other day and one of them was wearing a hat and Faith said hat, very cute, a new word. Faith waves, says hi and hello and loves when we say dancing hands as that is what she does. One of Faith's favorite past times is reading. She spends so much time turning the pages, looking at the pictures and touching the books. Another really exciting development is when we say 'roll' to Faith she will turn the upper half of her body and we just give her a hand with her leg and she rolls to her side. YAY! Very exciting! We are getting out more and having fun days. I feel like we are just starting to live again.

We are still having problems with UTI's 1-3 times a month but we can treat them now without going into hospital. We seem to have more control of our lives and it feels good. We have tests strips so we can see whether Faith has a UTI and then we can start treating it while we wait the few days for the lab results to come back. UTI's give Faith increased vomiting, restless overnight, and high temperatures. We have found a local pediatrician and he is a good help to us. Due to all the UTI's Faith has had the urologists wants her to have a DMSA scan but the problem has been Faith has to be clear of a UTI for 12 weeks and that hasn't happened so we just keep rescheduling the appointment. At this point I can't see how we are ever going to be clear for 12 weeks. We have an upcoming appointment with the urologist so we will talk to him about it then.

Faith is texture sensitive not only to any new foods but objects and just exploring the world. It is quite a long process and we have to try and include a variety of objects that have textures so she can learn about them. Faith has little leg wraps now and we can see that they are helping keep her legs out straight as before she kept them like a coat hanger. As she always had her legs pulled up when she was in pain and now is it is what she is used to doing. At this point Faith is still unable to sit up and we struggle to find good seating positions for her. We applied for a pram and it has body support so she can sit straight and supports her head better but still allows for her to develop her head control. The pram comes with tray so she could play with her hands more but we haven't heard back about how our application is going with NSW Health.

Even though Faith still gets sick from UTI's and we still have bad days our good days are starting to outnumber the bad. This is so new to us and it is WONDERFUL! Faith and I have been going on play dates and it is really positive for Faith to learn about other kids as she really hasn't had the opportunity to do so before. It is fun to do something 'normal'. It has been good for me to interact with other mum's and not feel so isolated. As a family we have been going for walks together and even going out for a few hours for a trip. We pack up the oxygen and all the NG feeding things and head out. It is getting easier and we are adapting to doing a variety of tasks out and about. I know for me there came a point when I truly accepted that my life is different to what I dreamed of and that embracing this new life and discovering the beauty in it. I am not saying that it is easy, it is hard and I do have bad days but every step forward is so much more appreciated and noticed. By me not only accepting my situation I am helping Faith accept her life with special needs and allowing her to be confident and ready to take on the world. I want to give her everything that is possible and give her just as many wonderful and exciting experiences as she would have had had things been slightly different. There really is happiness for the 3 of us, but in saying that I still get quite emotional at times and find my world hard to handle and want more for my little one. But that is natural. Faith is a blessing to us. We are finding our own normality....again!

Home!

With such excitement we are home! Our house had been decorated with welcome home signs and flowers. It was 9 weeks since I have been home and it feels so good, though strange. I brought Faith straight upstairs and showed her the house and her room, took her onto the deck pointing at this and that. So good to be home. Our Faith was with us at last. Over the next few days and nights we felt Faith wasn't feeding well and she is such an unsettled baby. She sweats a lot and pulls her legs up. We just assume this is the way it is. My husband had to go back to work the next day so it was just Faith and I. It was nice though I was exhausted. Being out of the hospital environment was fantastic. Friends and family visited and brought presents for us and we also got yummy meals and we felt loved and cared for. We managed to get a baby health nurse to come and visit and weigh Faith and talk to the nurse about feeding issues. She said that there is a feeding and sleep clinic we could come too and managed to get in the following week. The first few days at home were busy, we had the wound nurse coming most days. I would change the dressing but she would just check it and provide the supplies we needed. It was looking so much better. The spina bifida site was healed completely now, it was just where the flap of skin had been moved that needed to heal.

A few days later we went back to Brisbane to see the plastic surgeons and Faith was upset most of the way and cried a lot. The plastic surgeons were happy that the wound on her back was healing slowly but well. We were told just to keep on going with what we were doing. It was a long day but we successfully made it through and were very happy to get home. Faith is our first baby so lack of sleep is something we both expected but she was always restless and cried so much. We got go to the sleep and feed clinic and discovered that Faith had a uncoordinated suck and swallow so even though she looked like she was feeding well, she wasn't getting much milk. We tried bottles and holding her cheeks together to give her some support and she sucked like crazy. Our baby was hungry! I felt terrible, I was trying so hard. Breast feeding was over and expressing again begun and bottle feeding was the way to go. Whatever is best for Faith. Expressing, bottle feeding and caring for a baby. Crazy times.

One day when we were on a play date and I was holding Faith, the little boy we were visiting said, Faith has a lemon shaped head doesn't she and I said, we all have different shaped heads, yours is like an apple. We are all unique. We celebrated Faith's dedication with our church family in December and had a lovely BBQ lunch afterwards. It was really special for our friends and family to see Faith and how she was doing. Faith wore the same little white dress with the intricate details as I wore at my dedication, that was special. It was nice to have these little bright spots in our calender with something good. As most days were not good at this point. Faith clings to me and doesn't like to be held by many others but she loves to watch what is going on. She was also getting quite picky on who was to give her her bottle, it was only my husband and I.

Faith seemed like she was in pain as she pulled her legs up a lot, it was hard to figure out what was going on. We were also a bit concerned as Faith took so long to feed, we would sit there for sometimes an hour feeding her. The uncoordinated suck and swallow seem to cause her problems. At other times she would drink the milk really fast and sometimes she would vomit it up. I wish that the hospital had picked this up so we could have figured it out before we left. Time passed and we had horrid nights and the occasional good nights. We didn't go out much as Faith never seemed settled. By December, life still hadn't improved and we started noticing a twitching in her hand and particularly her thumb and the sweating was still profuse, all over her body. Infant's friend syrup seemed to help a little with any wind pain but not much. We saw our other friends with the same age babies not having so much trouble and wandered what was going on with Faith.

On this particular day that we noticed the twitching, we contacted our local pediatrician and he suggested that we should do some tests to see what was going on. A EEG was conducted and it came back clear. An ultrasound of Faith's head was done to check if the shunt was working and it was fine. But still no success. Faith was admitted to the local hospital for observation. The doctor decided to put her on Tegretol and see if that helped. Amazingly it did and we saw a marked improvement in Faith's health. But what was causing these focal seizures and what other investigations were going to be done. We ended up back in hospital a short time later with seizure activity. It generally happened in the morning, Faith would get so distressed and scream and pull her legs up in such intense pain and then her foot would start twitching and she was covered in sweat. All we could do was hold her close and do our best to comfort her. The local hospital had no idea what was going on and was not much help. I remember one nurse saying, just give her a bottle and it will better, but a bottle wouldn't help with a focal seizure. The paediatrician called the neurologist in Brisbane and they put her on more medication, Keppra this time. It didn't seem to help and we thought we need to get to the source of this problem not keep giving her more medication.

We had a trip to the spina bifida clinic in Brisbane and saw a urologist who said that Faith was retaining some wee in her bladder but didn't think we should catheterize just yet. We were keen to see the neurologist as Faith still had these terrible focal seizures in the early morning. It was decided a MRI would be booked for January to look and see if the Arnold Chiari ii malformation was causing this problem. In the mean time we just have to make do. We were not sure what was going on but Faith was not enjoying life she was either vomiting or in such distress nothing would help. The orthopaedic surgeon saw movement in her legs so that was encouraging.

Christmas week was the best Faith had ever been and maybe we were turning a corner. We just wanted a quiet time as we wanted to enjoy the peace but it wasn't to last. New Year's Eve she got worse, this foot twitching and pain or whatever it was got worse in a different way with a new intensity and we knew it had to be something serious.