Choices

It has been such a long time since I posted. The only real reason being, life is crazy busy but what has been happening?

Faith turned the big three! So exciting!

We are loving living in a low set house, nearly been here a year now. We can go much more easily and we see nature in action. The blue wrens and Willy Wagtails are a source of delight for all of us.

Faith has been really well and our trips to Brisbane are less frequent due to me saying "do we really need to visit so regularly".

We have been on our first family holiday and we explored Coffs Harbour. Loved it. I think I relaxed for the first time since Faith was born. I am not going to lose that feeling. I must keep it. So we can all survive. I got to have a ride in a helicopter as a birthday present. What a fabulous adventure. Faith turned a corner and now happily sits in a swing and loves being pushed in it. Must get one at home.

But, today I find myself at a cross roads. Faith is getting fatter, nearly hit the 10 kgs or maybe she has (I haven't weighed her in ages.). But our biggest problem which isn't a new one but I thought I would never have to say it. Faith is vomiting and vomiting. It's the formula. She struggles to eat anything again sadly. All her nourishment goes through her button and she is gaining weight but the vomiting usually gets worse and worse the longer she is on formula. She isn't sleeping very well, hasn't been since the reduction of food. So we are all sleep deprived. Some more than others.

What do we do? I am at a loss. I have so much information at my finger tips but after such a long struggle with feeding I don't know where or how to start any more. Fear is a issue. Failure a biggie. 

I know that if Faith can eat, the vomiting will greatly reduce or even disappear. I know that if I give a blended diet into her button the vomiting will decrease and she will sleep through the night. So, then, why don't I give her a blended diet into her button? Because I have no support to do it. I am on my own. If I blocked her tube, I hate to imagine what the hospital would say or even how they would react. I feel like I am on the edge with them. But this is the best option for my darling. I posted on the Facebook forum Blenderized Food for Tubies and apparently the size of Faith's tube isn't an issue and most do it on smaller. So, should I try? That is the question. I am at the end of myself, the 24 cloth nappies that are used to catch the vomit are continuingly vomited on, washing, dried on the line and reused. None of us, more so Faith, can go on with this vomit. What is best and what is right?